the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How does it feel to date your dad?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
