come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
