I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
