Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
