This girl is more easily done than said...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
