Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
