I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
