At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
