Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
