i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
