The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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