I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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