Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
two words...techno handjob
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
