butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I smell stomach acid.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
