Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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