you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
