I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
