We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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