Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
