so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
