I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I've blown a few things in my day
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
