You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
