so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
