Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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