My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
