I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
