You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
