I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
