well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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