just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
