She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
