I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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