I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
