Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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