Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
