Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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