I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
