ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
