Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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