I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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