Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
