I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
