hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Randomize
