I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
