i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
