I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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