I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
