She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
