420 ftw
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
this is an emotional support booty call
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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