Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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