Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
